When Caleb was little, her mother abused her.
“My dad wasn’t around much, I almost never saw him. And my mother, because of my autistic traits, sometimes called me “you damned good-for-nothing idiot.” said in a Reddit post.
“That’s why I wanted to be a good father to my son.”
But no parent is perfect. Even if they promise themselves they will, that’s no guarantee that they won’t do something they regret.
Caleb’s post seemed like a confession. His autistic son, who is mostly nonverbal, had pooped and made a mess in the bathroom.
“It spread all over the toilet, shower curtain, carpet and bathtub. I think she may have been trying to clean up after getting dirty.”
Caleb dealt with the mess with admirable calm, reminding his son that poop had to go in the bathroom and asking him if he understood.
“I tried not to be too hard on him, but this was one of the biggest disasters I’ve ever made.”
Dad takes to Reddit to confess
“After cleaning up a bit, I had to sit him on the toilet and told him to ‘finish on the potty if you need to poop more.’”
It wasn’t necessary, but the 10-year-old wasn’t leaning forward enough to be cleaned, so Caleb grabbed a strand of hair and pulled.
“It was a light tug.
“It didn’t even seem to bother him, he didn’t cry or rub his head like it hurt.”
But that didn’t stop Caleb from feeling terrible. As he washed his son in the shower, he apologized.
“I said, ‘I’m so sorry I pulled out your hair.’ I shouldn’t have done that. I am sorry, I love you.’ Then she repeated: ‘I love you.’”
Although it seemed that his son had forgiven him, Caleb could not forgive himself.
He looked to the Reddit community for a sounding board, but added that if anyone thought he was a terrible parent, he would agree.
Reddit supports autistic dad
The community flooded the comments with support and told Caleb that he should forgive himself.
“Also autistic,” one person said. “Things happen (ha!) and we all make mistakes, especially when we’re stressed and tired. You’re going through a difficult upbringing and it’s natural for your patience to be tested regularly. This is the first time this has happened. “You are not your mother.”
“This made me want to cry,” another person said. “While I don’t have the same challenges or perspective, it sounds like you’re doing the best you can and are a genuinely good person and father. Please forgive yourself.”
“This made me cry,” a third person wrote. “I am also the father of an autistic son and sometimes it is very difficult. You are not a bad father; a bad father would not feel guilty or ashamed. “You are under a tremendous amount of stress and you deserve to forgive yourself.”
