You know, I’m delighted Donald Trump won the election and all, but I’m very disappointed in those of you who are taking a cruel pleasure in watching journalists and other Democrats suffering in their defeat with the rude and crushing realization that their status as elites was an illusion that hid not only their incompetence but also their cynical indifference to the American values that had given them everything they had, and reeling with their sudden understanding that their old depravity-infested power centers of Hollywood and the news media have become obsolete and irrelevant because we’ve learned to expose the lies with which they hid the failures of their philosophy as we’ve learned to withstand the bullying insults with which they expressed their disdain for the people they were supposed to serve even as they thwarted our attempts to preserve our traditional freedoms and the prosperity that arose from them and which these so-called elites pillaged for the purpose of seducing the poor into dependency while deluding themselves with an ephemeral vision of their own virtue even as they crippled the aspirations of those self-reliant all-Americans who strove to better themselves and their families through their own hard work and responsible behavior only to find their children corrupted by the filth-drenched perverts who had infiltrated their schools and to have their religious and patriotic values undermined by sniggering academics who swathed themselves in spurious credentials and self-respect while teaching a specious political and social theology that has immiserated decent men and women wherever it has appeared.
This is not the time to mock them as they squeal in anguish right there on our television screens which for so long they have monopolized in order to have their second-rate comedians deride the wisdom we inherited from our noble forefathers while the unimpeded powerful metaphorically ground their ideological jackboots into our faces by censoring our beliefs as misinformation, arresting our leaders for invented crimes and using the power of the tax code and legal system to try to terrorize us into silence.
WATCH: The Andrew Klavan Show
This is not the moment to laugh with delight or even chuckle with suppressed joy or dance around in circles with our hands hilariously waving about in the air as we sing the “Hokey Pokey” or “Hava Nagilah” or some other celebratory tune more suited to a wedding or a birth or really any festivity in which normal citizens gather to revel in the sheer joy of living — just because a motley collection of privileged, power-hungry, self-satisfied and incompetent human abominations who mistake their advanced degrees for common sense and their swaggering arrogance for moral superiority have finally been handed the swift kick in the asses they have so richly earned with their persistent corruption, debauchery and wickedness.
No, no, my friends. Remember the Biblical virtues, which led the living incarnation of holy forgiveness and love to stand in the temple of his people before the leaders of his time, and say only this: Hallelujah!
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This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “The Andrew Klavan Show.”
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. He is the bestselling author of the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The fourth installment, “A WOMAN UNDERGROUND,” is now available. Follow him on X: @andrewklavan
The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.
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