DEAR ABBY: My partner and I have been together for more than five years now. He has two adult children. I learned two days ago that I am pregnant. At 43 years old, I didn’t think a child was in my future. But now that I’m pregnant, I couldn’t be happier. I’m cautiously excited because I am unsure what my partner’s reaction is going to be. I haven’t shared with him that I’m expecting. How quickly do I need to tell him? — PREGNANT PAUSE IN NEW YORK
DEAR PREGNANT: Tell your partner NOW so you both can begin planning how to integrate this new little person into your household. If his reaction is positive, it will be the beginning of a happy journey. If his reaction is negative, and because babies are expensive, discuss what it may mean financially, which will enable you to prepare for raising the baby on your own with financial support from him.
DEAR ABBY: I’m 17 and will be turning 18 in six months. I can’t wait to move out. My mother and I have a difficult relationship. We argue every day. She’s an addict, and it’s sometimes difficult to talk to her. I feel like nothing I do will ever be good enough for her. I feel like I am walking on eggshells. I plan on moving out as soon as possible, but I need help dealing with these last few months with her. I feel like I am barely holding on. Please give me some advice. — TORTURED TEEN IN INDIANA
DEAR TEEN: I am sorry for the stressful situation in which you find yourself. You certainly should extricate yourself as soon as you can. Are there other relatives who might be willing to have you stay with them until you graduate from high school and find a job? If there are, that would be ideal.
If there aren’t, start talking with a trusted teacher or counselor at school and explain what is happening because there may be resources in your community for young people from troubled homes.
DEAR ABBY: I am a retired man who, unfortunately, got caught up in an internet inheritance scam and lost all my money. I’m now broke and in debt. This is the worst thing that could have happened to me. I had to file for bankruptcy (Chapter 13).
Fortunately, my house is paid for, but I could lose my truck (my only means of transportation) if I can’t keep up with my bankruptcy payments. I have medical issues and take a lot of medication, so I have to get to my doctors’ appointments. The bankruptcy payments are high, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to afford them soon. I was enjoying my retirement, and now I have nothing. I don’t know what to do. What can you suggest? — DETOURED IN WISCONSIN
DEAR DETOURED: I am sorry for your predicament. It may be possible to lower your Chapter 13 bankruptcy payments. If you can’t afford to hire an attorney, contact the Legal Aid Society or a pro bono lawyer and ask for help. The laws can vary from state to state, and an attorney may be able to help you. I wish you success.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
