We need to get laid more.
The average American has sex only once per week, according to new research — with just two remote states out of fifty managing two or more rolls in the hay.
The sad sack statistics, released by mattress company NapLab, took a hard look at how much hanky panky is happening across the country — with a whopping 25% copping to coitus as little as one time per month.
Not Alaskans, though — the frozen tundra dwellers are keeping things hot between the sheets nearly three times per week. Perhaps they need more physical contact to survive those cold winters.
New Mexicans aren’t slouching on the sex front, either — making time to make time with their partner a little more than twice a week.
In third place was Vermont, where residents are doing the maple syrup mambo about 1.7 times a week.
New Yorkers are apparently performing well enough to squeak into the top ten — doing the deed 1.39 times per week on average was enough to land us at No. 9.
New Jersey, meanwhile, lagged at 1.21 times weekly, forcing it all the way down to No. 18.
Coming in last on the list are Nebraska, Michigan, Maine and Colorado, where apparently sex-starved locals are barely boning 0.5 times a week.
Nationwide, 45.6% of the roughly 2,000 respondents to the survey admitted to the once-a-week average — with 25% fessing up to once a month and 9.5% saying they were only seeing action once per year.
Only 7.8% were able to brag about daily deed doing.
While age does play a factor in how often Americans are having sex, young people aren’t engaging in it as often as one would think.
According to a study of Gen Z dating habits conducted by dating app Feeld, Zoomers were only hooking up an average of three times per month — same as the much older Baby Boomers.
Gen Xers and millennials, on the other hand, were making whoopee about five times each month.
