Gasping at straws
For a semblance of the merde sent daily to me:
Frank PR’s Mark Duffy told me he received “an odd message from an unknown LA number.
The voice said: ‘I hear you want to talk to me.’ That was it. Nothing more. And the caller hung up. It was Cher! I called back. She said nothing and didn’t return the call.”
Me: “So why you bothering me with this?”
Duffy: “I thought you’d find it interesting.”
“I’m enormously grateful. Don’t pester me again.”
And a real estate ad arrived saying “Millionaires are outpriced by billionaires flocking to Florida’s Fort Lauderdale.”
Panting for Fort Lauderdale?
I mean, after Miami and Palm Beach that town’s only got used cars and 16-foot crocs.
And celebrity hype?
Such as those arrested, detained or needed lawyering?
What’s arrived is stuff on: Bill Cosby, Lindsay Lohan, Pete Davidson, Alec Baldwin, Paris Hilton, Robert Downey Jr., Lori Loughlin, Mark Wahlberg, Wesley Snipes, R. Kelly, Suge Knight, Snoop Dogg, Felicity Huffman, Paul McCartney, Martha Stewart, Matthew McConaughey, Tim Allen, Charlie Sheen, Sean Penn, Mike Tyson, Boy George.
May all look forward to the Dem National Convention with Mrs. Emhoff and her VP choice from wherever’s Minnesota which is famous for its world-renowned celebrities like Garrett Hedlund and its signature tater tot hot dish, which I hear Putin’s desperate to try.
Math lessons
Also, listen, Hunter?
They already nailed him.
By now a Trump kid would’ve been indicted, tried and convicted.
More also.
Our state budget’s tighter than Mrs. Biden’s smile, but local public employee retirees needn’t worry.
The New York State Common Retirement Fund’s strong return earned 11.5%, and closed the year with an estimated $267.7 billion value.
Also: Biden’s puppetmaster Obama came in very poor, went out very rich.
Anyone know how he lives in a very pricey mansion?
Luring butts to seats
Next month comes the refined film “My Old Ass.”
Producer’s Margot Robbie.
It’s about some mushroom trip where star Aubrey Plaza, 40, meets her 18-year-old self.
Plaza: “The younger self learns from the older self” and if you know what all that means you’re a younger column reader than I am, Gunga Din.
This “ass” drags itself into theaters Sept. 13.
It’ll be fatter by then.
Kamala’s VP pick loves spending time with his kids.
Their game is “connect the dots.”
It’s played with his liver spots.
Only in the USA, kids, only in the USA.
