DEAR ABBY: I heard my adult son talk to his partner in a way I had only heard one other time. My son was not raised that way. My spouse and our children lived in what I thought was a traditional upbringing. The first time I was surprised and calmly expressed that speaking to another person with those words was disrespectful. I attributed it to being young and not taking other people’s feelings into account.
Once again, although I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, I heard the same language. I expressed that I was disappointed, embarrassed, and embarrassed by that language directed at another person. I suggested therapy to deal with this, but it scares me to think that I don’t know my own son and that he is capable of acting like this. Is it possible that I have raised a Jekyll and Hyde or a young adult without any sense of pride or manners? — NOT MY SON
DEAR NOT MY SON: You may have raised an adult child who has trouble controlling his temper and forgets that vulgarity and disrespect diminish the target’s respect for the invective. Therapy can help if your child is open to it, but once it is suggested, it is time to get out of this unfortunate scenario. (The exception would be if he is afraid that the verbal abuse may escalate.)
DEAR ABBY: I went to visit a man I was dating and there was no visitor parking available. He told me to park in any space, even though there were signs indicating non-residents would be towed. He told me not to worry, that he would only be there for a few hours. Suffice it to say, I got towed.
He took me to the tow yard to get my car back, but did not offer to pay the towing fee, not even half of it. I thought it would have been nice of him to at least offer, and that his failure to do so showed a lack of character.
Yes, I know that I chose to believe him at my own risk and that I am responsible for my decisions. But I trusted his information. In your opinion, did that demonstrate questionable character on his part? — TOWING IN TEXAS
DEAR TOWED: I’m not sure it showed a lack of character, but it certainly showed a lack of generosity. If he couldn’t have taken full responsibility, I agree he could have offered to pay half the fee. (I hope you put this guy in the rearview mirror.)
DEAR ABBY: I am a single great aunt without children. For decades I took on the task of traveling to visit my family when the children were young. No problem. But I recently learned that the children, now adults, were in my area and never contacted me. I was extremely hurt and let him know when the opportunity arose. I’m also insulted that they didn’t make any effort. My initial reaction is not to make any more effort. To do? — AUNT PAIN
DEAR AUNT: The first thing you should do is ask your nieces and nephews why they didn’t let you know they were nearby. Once you know why, you can decide how much effort you want to put into seeing them in the future.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
