What liqueur are you based on your zodiac sign?
‘Tis the season for schnapps and cordials, my friends. National Liqueur Day arrives on October 16, and with it, the call to raise a glass and outstretch a pinkie.
Not without irony, October 16 is also the birthday of the fabled drunk, beloved author, apex Libra, and tippler til the end, Mr. Oscar Wilde.
The word “liqueur” is derived (or distilled) from the Latin liquefacere, meaning “to melt, or dissolve.”
Fitting, considering how many among us can recall dissolving into a puddle of regret and vomit after an afternoon spent drinking a dusty bottle of schnapps nicked from the liquor cabinet of an absent parent.
In a great paradox, the history of liqueur begins with medicine. 13th-century monks steeped bitter herbs to treat the ails of their patients, sweetening them with sugar to make the medicine easier to administer.
In the 16th century, Aries regent Catherine de’ Medici introduced liqueur to the French court, making it a fashionable and fancy AF. In the 17th century, the advent of the spice trade expanded the variegation of liqueur flavors, introducing ginger, orange, and chocolate to European palettes.
While the world of liqueurs has continued to evolve, the OG emphasis on practicality persists, with Metallica bassist Robert Trujillo claiming that a daily douse of Jägermeister is the key to keeping his long hair lustrous.
Bless.
Pour one out and raise one high for National Liqueur Day. Read on to discover the boozy spirit that aligns with your zodiac sign.
Crème de menthe
Ruled by Mars and driven by the pursuit of truth and other accelerants, Aries folk are oft bracingly, but always refreshingly, honest. This quality is reflected in the garish color and bright flavor of crème de menthe.
Add to the lore that the cordial was invented by Emile Giffard, an Aries pharmacist, and was the preferred constitutional of the otherwise teetotaling Aries pianist Sergei Rachmaninoff. Rachmaninoff claimed the verdant liqueur calmed his nerves and steadied his hands when playing his ridiculously demanding concerto “Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini,” earning the piece the nickname of “Crème de Menthe Variations.”
Recommended cocktail: Green Dragon
Midori
At best, Taurus is the sign of curated decadence and beauty as medicine. At worst, Taurus is the sign of gluttony and greed, whose power color is green and battle cry is more.
How apropos that in myth and marketing, Midori speaks to both.
First introduced to the US via a “Saturday Night Fever” cast party at Temple of Louche, Studio 54, the liqueur peaked in popularity during the me-first, excess best decade of the 1980s.
Recommended cocktail: Midori Sour
Aperol
Like the immortal twins Castor and Pollux, who together make up the Gemini constellation, Aperol is born from brothers Luigi and Silvio Barbieri.
Gemini represents the duality present in all matter, the light and the dark, the sacred and the profane, low brow and high mind. In kind and in spirit of spirit, Aperol is distilled with sweet orange and bitter bark. Gemini is ruled by Mercury, an effervescent planet of hot gossip and elevated exchange. In-kind, Aperol was made to marry prosecco and is best mixed with manicured gardens and questionable company.
Recommended cocktail: Aperol Spritz
Bailey’s Irish Cream
Cancer is ruled by the feminine moon, lords over the chest, breasts, and lactation, and is linked to root systems and heritage, making Bailey’s Irish Cream an apt intoxicant for crab folk.
The opaque bottles are convenient for smuggling cocaine, while the flavor invokes what we wish breast milk tasted like.
Recommended cocktail: Bailey’s Colada
Goldschlager
Leo is ruled by the golden light of the sun and stands for the regal and the self-celebrating. In-kind and cup, Goldschlager is the Swiss descendant/throne thief of Goldwasser, a gold-flecked herbal liqueur favored by German czars.
Recommended cocktail: Gold Royale
Chartreuse
Virgo is a sign synonymous with discretion and temple guardianship, and Chartreuse is a liqueur produced from a secret recipe passed down by Carthusian Monks.
Born from a blend of 130 botanicals, Chartreuse tastes like vegetal compost and, in the spirit of the sign, is a rollicking good time disguised as a pious remedy.
Recommended cocktail: Last Word
Check out more of The Post’s food astrology content:
Chambord
Libra is ruled by the planet Venus, named for the goddess of love and beauty whose earthly associations include the raspberry from which Chambord derives its deep color and rich, sweet flavor.
Libras are unabashed sugar babies that like the finer things in life and aren’t above a little genteel social climbing. In-kind, Chambord, which bills itself as “unmistakably decadent,” borrows its name from a French chateau and its status from King Louis XIV’s reported fondness for the good juice.
Recommended cocktail: Pink Julep
St. Germain
St. Germain, with its statuesque bottle, Parisian mystique, and fresh elderflower flavor, is pure Scorpio.
Fixed water, Scorpio rules the eighth house of sex, death, and transformation, and the mystical elder tree from which the elderflower springs can sprout from damaged boughs and grow roots from cuttings, making it an ancient and eternal symbol of regeneration.
In the same vein, elder flowers are associated with death, grief, and resurrection, as it is believed Christ’s cross was made from the wood of an elder.
Add to the mix, or still, as it were, that elder wood, flowers, and leaves are employed during the pagan fire festival of Samhain, which falls during Scorpio season, to ward off evil spirits and protect the souls of the dead.
Recommended cocktail: Traditional Elderfashioned
Kahlúa
The cinematic embodiment of the Sagittarius archetype can be found in Jeffrey Lebowski, sage stoner, wayfarer-wearing, bathrobe king whose drink of choice, the White Russian, is made complete with the addition of this coffee liqueur.
Who but an arrow to the sky, caution to the wind, zero f–ks to give archer would dream of mixing booze and milk as a breakfast of ne’er-do-wells? Sagittarius is the sign of a good time and good-natured criminality, an energy made manifest in this macaque monkey bandit/hero who broke into his local liquor store to score Kahlúa. Hero.
Recommended cocktail: White Russian
Grand Marnier
Ruled by Saturn, the planet of the long game and hard lessons, Capricorn folk are built to endure and oft harbor something of a superiority complex. They expect the best of themselves, the world they move through, and the people they judge.
Like sea goats, Grand Marnier tastes expensive, is the rich result of a slow process, and improves greatly with age.
Recommended cocktail: Cadillac Sidecar
Sambuca
In terms of the Major Arcana, Aquarius is represented by the Star card wherein a topless maiden gazes into a reflecting pool whilst a bright central star rises over her head, shining as a symbol for hope, perception, and the divine intercession of the universe.
Similarly, star anise, the main ingredient in Sambuca, is associated with the opening of psychic channels and the delivery of deific downloads. In the Star card, the central orb is surrounded by a wreath of seven stars, each corresponding to one of the seven chakras.
Same but different, Sambuca is commonly served with seven coffee beans in honor of the Seven Hills of Rome.
Recommended cocktail: Sambuca Sazerac
Astrology 101: Your guide to the star
Amaretto
Pisces is the die-hard, drunk on love, ‘I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine, reckless romantic of the zodiac, ever willing to go to great lengths and terrible depths in the service of a relationship.
In-kind and in Greek myths, the almond, from which Amaretto draws its signature flavor, is tied to both a doomed love story and a constellation of self-inflicted castrations.
Love hurts, and Pisces is always ready for that promised pain. Drink up.
Recommended cocktail: Italian Margarita
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. To book a reading, visit her website.