We have to sign a ‘family code of conduct’ on Thanksgiving — or we can’t eat dinner
Control freaks are gonna gobble-gobble this up.
Sure, rules are meant to be broken — but not while breaking bread with one’s kin over Thanksgiving dinner, according to a viral “family code of conduct” contract that’s binding folks to a few intense laws of civility this holiday.
“I have hosted Thanksgiving for my family every year since I moved into my house five years ago,” began an anonymous millennial, 32, in a Reddit rant about her 29-year-old sister’s turkey day list of demands. “It’s always a little messy and chaotic, but that’s part of the charm, right?”
“This year, my sister decided she wanted to ‘help bring some order’ to the gathering,” continued the Redditor, before revealing her sis’ stringent “Family Code of Conduct” commandments.
“A rule against ‘overlapping conversations’ at the dinner table, with suggestions for taking turns like ‘a respectful debate club,” the woman explained. “A ‘ban on political or controversial topics,’ with her as the final arbiter of what was too heated.”
She added, “A dress code of ‘smart casual” because ‘holiday photos should reflect well on the family’” and “Assigned seating that she claimed was based on ‘optimal personality compatibility.’”
The outraged Reddit user claimed that her sister “insisted everyone read and sign them before attending Thanksgiving.”
While being forced to sign a blood oath promising to behave might seem over the top, some of the sister’s directives are not.
In fact, setting strict rules for family gatherings is rising as the secret ingredient for hosting harmonious occasions.
Neko Ashi, a social media content creator, previously shared her hilarious hack for keeping conversations light and laughable while carving into the bird.
“Announce at the beginning of dinner that anyone who brings up politics in any way, shape, or form will be seated at the children’s table,” she advised her more than 11,000 TikTok followers, adding that the rule-breaker, too, would be forced to entertain the tots for the duration of the celebration.
“That should keep their mouth shut,” said Ashi.
At the top of the month, brides from NYC to L.A. also issued bans on chatter about the 2024 presidential election at their early-November nuptials, hoping a gag order would keep the focus on their love rather than the nation’s next leader.
Local and far-off restaurants have even imposed commandments on their paying customers.
Eateries such as Nettie’s House of Spaghetti in Tinton Falls, New Jersey, banned children under age 10 from dining at its establishment. Managers for the Italian hotspot wrote on Facebook, “Between noise levels, lack of space for high chairs, cleaning up crazy messes, and the liability of kids running around the restaurant, we have decided that it’s time to take control of the situation.”
Bliss Restaurant in St. Louis, Missouri, recently followed suit, announcing an age minimum for patrons, welcoming only women over 30 and men over 35 to create a “sophisticated environment” without all the “young folks who bring some of that drama.”
Kevin Kelley, the manager of True Kitchen + Kocktails in Dallas, Texas, famously placed a ban on twerking after patrons tried turning the restaurant into a butt-popping party.
But when it comes to Thanksgiving, it seems revelers just want to eat, drink and be … messy.
After reviewing her sister’s list of T-Day do’s and don’ts, the incensed Reddit user admittedly blew her top.
“I told her I wasn’t going to enforce a code of conduct at my house and that if she wanted to micromanage Thanksgiving, she could host it herself,” said the woman, who ultimately canceled hosting the big meal at her house. “She doubled down, saying I was being ungrateful and stubborn.”
But Reddit readers agreed that her shocked response to the “holiday constitution” was totally justified.
“Tell your sister she is not welcome unless she drops this BS,” urged a commenter. “Your house, your rules and all that. If she doesn’t like it she can stay home but unless SHE is doing the cleaning, prep, set up and cooking for the family on HER turf she doesn’t get to make decrees.”
“Yes, your sis is a control freak. Next [year] you can try to host the family again, but if she tries to enforce the same rules, she can stay home,” another spat.
“You can even sign a declaration of thanksgiving independence, declaring yourselves free of micromanaging attempts to create a hallmark family dinner,” a separate spectator suggested.
“Celebrate your declaration by a round of whatever absolutely chaotic activity you love or loved as kids.”
