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‘Selfish’ moms slammed for refusing to celebrate grandmas on Mother’s Day: ‘Your time has passed’

Who is celebrated on Mother’s Day?

The answer may seem obvious, but some matriarchs are not so keen on sharing their special day.

“It’s Mother’s Day, not Grandmother’s Day,” Emily Wehner, a family photographer in Indianapolis, said in a TikTok video last week that has scored 2.3 million views and stoked a storm of controversy.

The mom-of-two, who noted that her own mother agrees with her theory, recalled one Mother’s Day spent planning visits to see grandparents on a day that was meant to be celebrating her.

“I didn’t get to do anything for myself and I was like, ‘I’m not doing this again,’” she recounted in the clip.

Her family, she continued, celebrates grandmothers on other days during the year, and the tradition is the same for Father’s Day, too.

“This may ruffle feathers for some people, but that’s what I wanna do,” she said. “I made the boundary and I’m the one deep into the mothering right now, and so I’m gonna take the day how I wanna take the day.”

“It’s Mother’s Day, not Grandmother’s Day,” Emily Wehner said in a viral video. tiktok/@emily_wehner

And ruffle feathers it did, sparking furious debate in the comments as to how best celebrate the mothers in their lives.

“You selfish women want your husbands to forget about their moms for you, can’t wait until your kids grow up and do the same to you,” one user slammed Wehner.

“It honestly shocks me that more people dont just celebrate Mother’s Day/Father’s Day as one big family get together and celebrate all the moms/dads in one,” chimed in another. “There’s enough love to go around for everyone!”

“I was resentful that we spent time with my husband’s mom on Mothers Day. But now both of our moms are dead — I’m glad we celebrated them when we could,” someone else wrote, offering another perspective. “We have to remember we are here because of THEM.”

But Wehner wasn’t the only mom wanting the spotlight on the holiday.

On TikTok, fellow mothers argued that the special day should be reserved for “moms in the trenches” — or those who don’t get a restful night of sleep because they’re raising their children at home.

Texan mom Amy Haden posted her own video explaining why her elders will celebrate Grandparent’s Day in September instead.

“For us to get here, we all had a mom, I get that,” she began the clip, which has amassed over 42,000 views. “But once your children have a baby, it is now their Mother’s Day.”

Amy, a smiling woman passionate about travel, social media, and being a wife and mom from Texas
Haden also weighed in on the Mother’s Day controversy, arguing that Mother’s Day has “passed” for grandparents. .tiktok/@aahaden

Women, she argued, should not feel forced to see grandmothers or mother-in-laws on their special day. While the elder mothers in their lives may still expect or receive a gift, Haden believes that Mother’s Day is really for the moms who “still have kids at home.”

“If you do not have small children in your home and you are not actively parenting — getting up, going to work with a baby, getting kids dressed for school — then your Mother’s Day time has passed,” Haden continued, noting in the caption that Grandparents’ Day is Sept. 8, so “make a note on your calendar.”

While divided viewers were shocked by Haden’s take, calling it “wrong” and saying they will never stop celebrating the mothers that came before them.

“Once a mother always a mother,” one person wrote.

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